Thanks for the Directions
by Princess MacEaver
Summary: A one-shot featuring Blink and Mush as two hapless newsboys who get very confused when a girl in the alley isn't quite what they expected...


Thanks for the Directions

**Thanks for the Directions**

By Princess MacEaver 

"Look, Mush!" Kid Blink said, grabbing his friend's arm and pointing down a narrow bystreet."It's one a dose goils in da alleys.Let's go!"

"Alright!" Mush said eagerly, following Blink toward the alley. "I was beginnin' ta think we wasn't gonna get one dis week!"

They turned into the alley to see a tall beauty in trousers and suspenders, a tweed newsies cap set on her strawberry blond curls.She wore a dark blue backpack and faced away from them, apparently consulting a map.

Blink paused to adjust his eyepatch and smooth his vest."How do I look?"

"Fine," Mush replied, brushing a hand through his hair."But rememba, it's my toin dis week."

He started off toward the girl but Blink jerked him back."Whattaya mean it's your toin?" he asked."You got dat Irish goil last week, da one who sang."

Mush shook his head."Dat was two weeks ago, Blink.Last week it was your toin wit dat pokah-playin' Italian."

"Dat wasn't last week!Anyway, didn't you get bof dose twins dat one week in June?Dat oughta count for two."

"Dat don't count," Mush insisted."I didn't find out dere was two of 'em til aftahwards."

"You're full of it," Blink retorted, pushing Mush's shoulder.

Before push could come to shove, however, the girl turned and noticed them."Oh, hi!" she said, her lips parting in a friendly smile to show gleaming white teeth.

The newsies froze, looks of stupefaction crossing their faces.Week after week, the girls never failed to disappoint.

The girl still held the folded paper, which did indeed appear to be a shiny map."Hey, do you think you could help me out here?" she asked, taking a step toward them.

"Don't worry!" Mush said, smacking his fist into his hand and transforming his awed expression into one of vengeance."We'll take care a dem!"

"We'll soak 'em!Nobody hoits a beautiful goil like you an' gets away wit it!" Blink added, his face darkening.

They held up their fists in boxer poses and waited for the action.The girl looked at them blankly and then twisted around to look behind her at the otherwise empty alley.

"Um, guys?What're you doing?"

"Rescuin' ya!" Blink said."What do ya t'ink?Now where are dese thugs?"

The boys maintained their intimidating scowls and scanned the alley with suspicious looks.The girl raised her eyebrows and looked amused.

"I hate to break it to you," she said, "but I don't need to be rescued.I was just wondering if you—"She held up the map again but they cut her off.

"Don't need ta be rescued?" Mush repeated, a look of disbelief on his face."What, somebody already help ya?"  
"I bet Specs got 'er, da bum.He _knows_ dis is our territory!"

"Oh boy," the girl muttered under her breath, then smiled sweetly."Look, guys, I don't mean to disappoint you, but I'm really not in any danger."

"Den what're you doin' heah?" Blink asked."How're we supposed ta meet?"

"Get ta know each otha?"

"Form a lifelong bond?"

"Realize we'se attracted to each otha and have wild monkey—"

"Wait," the girl interrupted, holding up a hand."What makes you think all that's gonna happen?"

The boys looked at each other.

"Well, because, it always does," Blink finally said, as if he were explaining why the sun rises every morning.

"Maybe it does, but why do you think I'm the girl it happens with?" she persisted, curious.

"Well, you _are_ wearin' da requisite modern boys' clothing wit a futuristic twist, an' dat newsie cap dere—dat's a dead giveaway," Mush explained.

"Plus," Blink added, "you're real pretty.I nevah met one dat wasn't a knockout."

"Jeeze," the girl observed, giving them a skeptical look."You guys got it all figured out."

"Well, dat's how it's done," Blink said."Otha stuff, too.Like your real name is Mary Sue, but you have a cute nickname dat reflects bot' your personality an' some sorta trademark object or action a yours."

"Sorry," the girl replied."My name's Johanna, and I've never had a nickname., unless you count Nugrape, this inside joke thing in seventh grade."

"Dere's somethin' really weird about dis goil," Blink whispered to Mush, keeping his eye on Johanna.She had pulled her backpack around and was rummaging through it.

"Den what're you doin' heah?" Mush asked her."If you ain't gonna hook up wit one a us—"

"Or both—"

"An' all dat," Mush finished.

Johanna found what she was looking for in her bag and looked up."Well, you can sign this for me."

"Sign what?" Mush asked, as she handed a hot pink box and a pen to Blink.

Blink's eye widened as he looked the video case over."Man, I seen some serious anachronisms in my time, but dis puts Medda's exit signs ta shame.You see dis, Mush?"

Mush took it and his jaw dropped."Dat's Jack!An' Race!"He flipped it over."Blink!Dat's you!"

"Lemme see dat!"Blink grabbed it back and stared at his picture."It _is_ me…" he breathed.

Johanna shifted her weight."Could you just sign it please.Something like, to Johanna, love Trey."Blink looked up upon hearing the name and she quickly added, "Or Kid Blink.Either-or."

Blink tentatively held the pen and signed his name.Mush took the Sharpie and did the same, then passed back the video.

"Thanks," Johanna said, sticking it back in her backpack."Very much appreciated.Now if you could point me toward the station?I can't make sense of this dumb map."

Mush pointed a shaky hand in the direction of the station and the speechless boys watched her begin to walk away.

"Wait!" Blink suddenly whispered to Mush."We can't just let her leave like dat.She's supposed ta get beat up an' all!"

"Well what can we do about it?" Mush asked."She messed everything up."

Blink bit his lip."Hey, Johanna!" he called.

"Yeah?" she said, turning.

"Let's soak 'er!" Blink whispered, and the boys took off after her.

"Ahh!" Johanna screamed, trying to twist out of Mush's grip."What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry," Mush said, struggling to hold her."But you gotta follow da rules.You gotta get rescued from a fight."

"You're crazy!" Johanna yelled, kicking out at Blink, who held up a fist buthesitated, biting his lip.

"Don't worry," he said nervously."Somebody'll be right heah to save ya.Somebody's always around.Just make shoah you scream real loud."

"An' if nobody comes, we'll save ya ourselves," Mush promised, trying to sound reassuring.

"You're out of your minds!" Johanna shrieked.

"Aooow!" Mush suddenly cried, feeling Johanna's teeth sink into his arm.As he grabbed his arm in pain, she pulled out of his grip.

"Mush!" Blink yelled, chasing after the girl.As he caught her by her backpack, she whirled around and kicked him where it counts.He staggered back against the wall, groaning and dropping the backpack.She snatched it off the ground and took off running.

"Thanks for the directions!" she shouted over her shoulder."Freaks!"


End file.
